


Atsuko Kagari, Blanket Thief

by TracedInAir



Series: Diakko Week 2020 [2]
Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Akko rolls so much in her sleep you could hook a generator to her and power London, Cuddles, Diana just wants to sleep, F/F, Fluff, Maybe the T rating is overkill but there's a few innuendos I guess, No pining this time, The only pining is Diana/Sleep, diakko week 2020, they're married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25908499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TracedInAir/pseuds/TracedInAir
Summary: There are a great many benefits to sharing a bed with one's wife.Unfortunately, if you're Diana Cavendish, there is one, small, tiny downside.Chapter 2 written for Diakko Week 2020 Day 2: Cuddles / Hand-holding.
Relationships: Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari
Series: Diakko Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1893886
Comments: 37
Kudos: 257





	1. Chapter 1

There were a great many things Diana missed about Akko while she was away. She missed being able to see her wife animatedly leap her way through her day to day life, turning the world into her own personal performance. She missed hearing her laugh at the smallest things and the biggest things, filling Diana’s life with a never-ending stream of soft joy.

Most of all, if she was being honest, she missed being able to hold Akko. She missed the gentle touches, the way they’d gravitate towards each other without even thinking, the way Akko would hold her after a bad day or a good day, always with that same ever-giving sense of love.

But for all the things she missed about having Akko around, there was _one thing_ she very much preferred about being alone.

Akko rolled over, somehow ending up with her leg on top of Diana’s face.

It was 2 o’clock in the morning.

“Akko, darling,” Diana whispered, trying and failing to move her wife’s leg _off_ her face. She tried shifting herself down the bed, only to realise Akko’s arm was somehow lodged behind her knees.

Diana took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, my love,” she apologised, and shoved Akko’s leg away.

Akko twisted violently, and her other leg shot off the bed to kick Diana in the face.

Diana yelped in pain, putting a hand to her nose and feeling it come away wet with blood. Akko groaned, her head semi-covered by the blanket halfway down the bed. “D… na?” Akko said groggily, “you… k?”

Diana held her tongue. It wouldn’t be fair to be upset with Akko, it wasn’t her fault. But knowing this didn’t stop her from being _very much_ upset with Akko. “I’m just going to the bathroom, dear,” Diana said, probably a little harsher than she’d hoped but honestly, given the circumstances? She could have unlocked that Fourth Word several times over.

After a few minutes of cleaning herself up, she made her way back to bed. Akko had returned to a normal sleeping position, lying on her side of the bed, eyes barely open as she waited for Diana to return.

“You alright, Diana?” she whispered as Diana lay down.

“Perfectly fine,” Diana said, hoping Akko couldn’t hear quite how clipped her tone was.

“Mhm,” Akko responded, wrapping an arm around Diana and pulling her closer. “Kay, night. Love you.” Akko pecked Diana on the cheek, and began snoring merely seconds later.

…Maybe sharing a bed with Akko wasn’t quite so bad.

* * *

They returned late one night, after one glass too many at Jasminka’s. Or maybe a bit more than one, in Akko’s case, as she slumped against the wall of the hallway outside their bedroom. “Alright Akko, we’re here. Do you need any help getting into bed?” Diana asked, gently leading her into the room.

“I don’t need any help to get into your bed,” Akko said, winking heavily. With both eyes.

“Flattering as your pickup lines are,” Diana said drily, “you’re drunk. And it’s _our_ bed, which you should really be getting into shortly.”

“Kay,” Akko said, and flopped down onto their bed. Diagonally.

“Not quite what I meant,” Diana chuckled. She changed into her sleepwear, and grabbed a set of Akko’s to hand to her. “I’ve got your nightclothes, dear.” She held them towards Akko.

Akko did not respond.

“Darling?” Diana nudged her shoulder.

Akko snored, loudly.

Diana took one look at the situation, and came to a horrifying realisation. Akko was sprawled across the entire bed, and there was physically no way for Diana to get into it past her.

Diana tried everything. She tried waking her, to no avail, Akko was out like a light. She tried moving her, and Akko just flopped back into place like a ragdoll. She tried dragging the blanket out from under her, and Akko just rolled off it and onto the mattress below, somehow taking up even _more_ space.

After what felt like an hour of struggling, Diana resigned herself to her fate. She placed the blanket in her hands on the floor, and laid herself down on top of it. For the first time in Diana Cavendish’s life, she considered the benefits of keeping a spare mattress in her own bedroom.

“Diana?”

“...Yes, Akko?” Diana said, resigned.

“Why you on,” Akko yawned, “the floor?”

Diana sighed. “Would you mind making some space on the bed for me, darling?”

“Kay.” Akko rolled over, giggling to herself.

* * *

Diana stared at the ceiling. It was cold. It was, in fact, December. In England. Snow lightly dusted her bedroom window, and she once again counted herself glad that she had a wonderful, warm, weighted blanket.

 _Had_ being, unfortunately, the operative word.

Akko’s back was to her, and bundled between her arms and legs was Diana’s _entire_ queen-size blanket. It wasn’t even _covering_ her, Diana thought, somehow more offended by the fact Akko wasn’t even using the blanket she’d stolen.

To add insult to injury, the blanket was taking up a lot of space on Akko’s side of the bed, resulting in her pushing herself further and further onto Diana’s side, until Diana could feel herself starting to slip off the edge of the bed. She rolled over, cuddling close to Akko in a desperate attempt to gain whatever heat she could, and hopefully save some space.

Akko snuggled back into her, mumbling happy noises in her sleep at the sensation of being cuddled. Diana enjoyed it for a moment, before she realised Akko had shuffled back so far that Diana's backside was quite literally floating over thin air.

There was only one thing for it.

Going against her every instinct, brain screaming at her all the while, she extricated herself from her cuddle with Akko, and moved over to _Akko’s side of the bed._

Immediately, she felt wrong. Their bed was by no means lumpy, but the few lumps that existed were in _the wrong places._ It felt alien, like she was sleeping in somebody else’s bed entirely. Oh well, at least she could now grab some of the blanket that was on this side.

Akko rolled over.

Diana had to bite her hand to stop herself from screaming.

* * *

That was _it._

She’d had _enough._

It was a drastic measure, but Akko had left her with no choice.

It wasn’t a difficult request, they certainly had enough spare blankets lying around. Anna had raised an eyebrow, but one look at the drained look on Diana’s face was enough for her to comply. She now had it, the perfect weapon with which to finally win the war that Akko had been unwittingly defeating her in for years.

A second blanket.

“Did Anna forget to take the old blanket?” Akko asked her that night, tilting her head curiously as they readied themselves for bed.

“No, this is very much deliberate,” Diana said, trying to keep the smug sensation of victory from being too apparent.

“Huh?” Akko bemusedly lifted and flopped the second blanket.

“This is because _you,_ Atsuko Kagari, are a _blanket thief,”_ Diana said.

Akko looked up at her, bemused. Then her eyes widened. Then she started laughing.

She laughed harder, doubled up, holding her stomach on their shared bed. “Pfffhahahahaha! Are you kidding!? This is that big a deal to you?”

Diana folded her arms as she glared down at a still hysterically laughing Akko. “You left me with no other option. Your antics last night completely ruined my ability to achieve the required amount of sleep.”

“My _antics?"_ Akko’s laughter got somehow even louder. “Diana, I was _asleep!_ It’s not like I was doing anything deliberately.” Her laughing finally started to die down. “Besides, how bad can I really be?”

“How bad!?” Diana’s composure, never her strongest suit at the best of times, completely abandoned her. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve considered _hexing_ our blanket to fix you in place?”

“…Never?” Akko said, smiling innocently at Diana.

“You have kicked me in the face on multiple occasions!” Diana ranted on. “It completely beggars belief that one woman can be _this_ restless in her sleep. How do you even feel relaxed when you wake up? You get more exercise at night than most people do in the day!”

Akko’s face twisted, biting her lip as she tried not to laugh.

“…I appreciate your restraint in not commenting on the innuendo,” Diana sighed.

“You said it, not me.” Akko grinned. “OK fine, so I’m maybe a pain to sleep with. If it’s that bad, we could just get separate beds if you wanted?”

Diana recoiled in shock. “What? I would never.”

“Geez, make up your mind Diana,” Akko said, lounging on their bed with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “One minute you’re all _‘mwahahahha, behold my ultimate weapon in the battle against Atsuko Kagari, the infamous blanket thief of Wedinburgh!’_ and now you’re saying you _do_ wanna sleep with me?”

Akko paused, realising what she’d said half a second after she said it.

“You truly are incapable of getting your mind out of the gutter, aren’t you?” Diana grumbled as she settled into bed, pulling _her_ blanket over herself.

“OK, poor phrasing aside,” Akko chuckled, “what gives? If I’m that terrible to share a bed with, why not just not? It’s not like we’d be some old couple that hates each other and sleeps in separate rooms or anything.”

Diana mumbled something.

“Huh?”

“There are… upsides to sharing a bed with you,” Diana said. Akko’s eyebrows wiggled. “Would you stop,” Diana huffed.

“OK so, aside from the obvious, what else?” Akko pressed.

“You’re not going to drop this, are you?” Diana sighed.

“Nope.”

Diana fidgeted a little, then turned to face Akko directly, looking deep into her eyes. “You give _really_ good cuddles.”

“Knew it.”

“You are insufferable.”

“Knew that too.”

Diana rolled away, folding her arms for good measure.

Akko shuffled over, pressing into Diana’s back. “Hey, you’re not really mad are you?”

Diana sighed. “Of course I’m not, Akko.”

“Good,” Akko said, suddenly wrapping her arms around Diana. “Because you’re getting cuddled all night!”

Diana sank back into Akko’s arms, feeling her body soften as her wife pulled her close. “Sounds perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in like 2 hours because of a discussion about the bit in the Nightfall ep where Lotte's up on her crystal ball and you can see Akko changing sleeping position like 3 times in 5 minutes kbyeeeeeeeee.


	2. Akko Steals the Second Blanket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Diakko Week Day 2: Cuddles / Hand-Holding.

“I love you so much, my darling,” Diana whispered.

“You are the shining star in my sky,” she breathed reverently.

“Your love gives my life purpose, and without you I would be hopelessly adrift.” She shut her eyes, losing herself in the warmth of her feelings for Akko.

It didn’t work. She still wanted to kill her.

Akko had taken the second blanket.

She’d taken the second _bloody_ blanket. Diana had been asleep for _less than half an hour_ when Akko had rolled over, dragging the entire blanket with her.

She would pay for her crimes with nothing short of blood.

The blanket was held over Akko’s shoulders with a tight grip in both of her hands. The first blanket was tucked between her knees. Diana was not a physically strong person at the best of times, and sleep deprivation had completely robbed her of any ability to wrest either blanket free from Akko’s clutches.

She _could_ wake Akko, and she heavily considered it. It would only be fair, given how much sleep Akko had cost _her_ over the course of their relationship. Diana rolled over, laying her arm gently on the top of Akko’s shoulder. “Akko, darling?”

Akko nuzzled her hand with her face in her sleep.

Diana’s resolve completely broke.

“Do you have any idea how fortunate you are,” Diana muttered, settling herself in behind Akko and cuddling up to her for warmth, “that you’re so ridiculously adorable?”

* * *

It was late. Very late. Diana hadn’t checked the time when she left the surgery, but it couldn’t have been any earlier than three by the time she was finally done.

Diana was fortunate that her position as a researcher meant she rarely had to do any practical medicine, and especially not the type that would keep her up until 3 am on a weekday. But she _was_ the UK’s foremost expert on magical medicine, and when a patient came into Wedinburgh General Hospital with a particularly nasty curse wound courtesy of a severely pissed off fey… Diana was the obvious choice, and she was hardly going to refuse.

She stumbled through Cavendish Manor in a haze. She was _so_ tired. She’d been daydreaming of her bed, insofar as one could ‘daydream’ at three in the morning, for at least an hour now. The entire way home she’d been fighting not to fall asleep on her broom. She even flew a little lower just in case.

As Diana finally reached her bedroom door, the icy hand of fear gripped her chest.

_What if Akko had done the bloody starfish thing again._

Akko’s sleeping habits were bad enough with Diana _in_ the bed, but left to her own devices, she would contort her limbs in completely random directions and fill the entire bed in such a way that made it impossible for Diana to get into bed at all.

Dreading what she was about to see, Diana opened the door.

She forced her eyes to the bed, and in the dim light filtering in from the hallway she saw… nothing. Akko wasn’t in bed.

Diana rolled her eyes. No doubt her wife was sneaking to the pantry for a significantly-post-midnight snack. Or, a more charitable part of her brain offered, just going to the bathroom.

Oh well, as long as she didn’t wake Diana up when she came back to bed.

Diana landed in bed with a muffled thump. She was so tired she hadn’t even bothered changing into sleepwear, just collapsing onto her bed in her shirt and underwear. The tiny part of her brain that was still awake noted how strange it was that there was only one blanket on the bed, which she snuggled into.

Then she heard Akko snore.

Diana’s eyes cracked back open. This couldn’t be real.

She looked over the side of the bed, and sure enough, there she was. Her wife, the love of her life, the woman she had promised to spend eternity with, had fallen off the bed and was sleeping splayed out on the floor.

Of course, the right thing to do would have been to bring Akko back to bed. A good person would have done that. But right now, Diana did not feel like a good person. Diana felt like a person who _needed_ to sleep _right now_ and for the first time in _weeks_ was going to be able to do so without her wife practicing _karate_ on her.

Diana settled back into bed, feeling only slightly guilty.

Then Akko groaned a little.

Diana looked back over the side of the bed. Akko’s blanket had fallen on top of her, and she was lying on the hardwood floor in nothing but her sleepwear. It couldn’t be comfortable. In fact, it looked _extremely_ uncomfortable, to the point where Diana wondered how on earth the fall hadn’t woken her.

She looked down at Akko, uncomfortably rolling on the hard floor. She thought about how much she _really_ just wanted to sleep right now.

Diana did the only thing that she could.

She gently hopped off the bed and, with some difficulty, lifted Akko and deposited her onto their bed.

Diana went to get back into bed, but her exhausted body gave out under her, collapsing directly on top of Akko.

“Ack! Diana!” Akko woke up with Diana’s arm in her face. “Whyyy?”

Diana felt like crying.

* * *

“This is impossible,” Akko whined.

“It’s really not that bad,” Diana chided her.

“Look, I’ve said I’m sorry, OK? I take it all back, I _was_ that bad, it must have been _awful,_ I don’t know _how_ you put up with this for years.” Akko tried to shift from the bizarre contorted position she’d ended up in, only to be pushed back by a very small arm.

“She’s _your_ daughter, after all,” Diana said, smiling with affection down at the precious two-year old between them. Bernadette Kagari-Cavendish rolled again, kicking Akko in the back as she did so.

“Have you _seen_ her hair?” Akko demanded. “You don’t get to shirk the responsibility for this! This situation is as much your fault as it is mine!”

“Oh shush,” Diana cooed, placing her arm over her wife and daughter and pulling them both a little closer. “If it’s really that bad, we could wake her and send her back to her own bed…”

Akko glared at her, fiery red eyes that now reminded Diana of the _two_ people she loved most in the world. “Never speak again of this _evil,_ foul witch.”

“Foul witch? I was under the impression I was, what was it again, _‘The greatest witch to ever live. Better than all of the Olde Nine combined. The beauty and wonder of magic incarnate’.”_

Akko blew a raspberry at her. “I regret that interview so much.”

“No you don’t.”

“No I don’t.”

A loving gaze passed between them, before Akko sighed. “You know, you don’t have to be _quite_ so happy that I’m getting a taste of my own medicine.”

“I know, but I am.” Diana smiled, a little too smug.

“At least we don’t have to change her nappies anymore,” Akko conceded, bringing an arm over to gently cuddle her daughter.

“You were _terrible_ at it,” Diana chuckled.

Akko opened her mouth, then thought for a second, and closed it. “Yeah I was.”

“But I don’t think anybody else can get her to sleep as well as you.” Diana fondly ran a finger through Akko’s hair.

“Is it any surprise that a kid that’s half-me and half-you would love The Exciting Adventures of Shiny Chariot?” Akko grinned back, remembering the books that had been her secret weapon for most of Berandette’s life.

“I think this little troublemaker is at _least_ sixty percent you,” Diana smiled.

“Ah, but no child quite so intelligent could be anything less than majority Cavendish,” Akko put on a dignified voice. “Why, she knows all of the letters of the English alphabet! I didn’t figure _them_ out til I was ten!”

Diana rolled her eyes. “Yet her progress with katakana is far beyond mine. I believe I was _eighteen_ when I finally understood them fully.”

“No one understands them fully,” Akko said. “One of life’s great mysteries. Like why is the pantry always emptier the hungrier you are.”

Diana rolled her eyes again.

“Or how do any of Amanda’s pick-up lines work?”

Diana chuckled at that.

“Or how did I luck into getting the most wonderful wife and daughter in the whole world?”

Diana melted.

“That’s my line,” she responded, pressing a gentle kiss to Akko’s mouth.

* * *

Diana woke up, at 1.53 am, with Bernadette Kagari-Cavendish’s bottom in her face.

* * *

“Good afternoon, ma’am! What can we interest you in today?”

“The biggest one you have.”

“Ma’am, the Alaska King is nine feet by nine feet, and is more of a _novelty_ than-”

“Did I stutter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to Squish for letting me borrow little Bernadette Kagari-Cavendish here! And definitely go check out her future kids stories if you haven't, they're adorable as all heck.
> 
> As always, comments appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like 2 hours because of a discussion about the bit in the Nightfall ep where Lotte's up on her crystal ball and you can see Akko changing sleeping position like 3 times in 5 minutes kbyeeeeeeeee.


End file.
